Still Alive and writing...

So, all three of my readers already know that I am writing an E-Book entitled...well, lets make that a surprise for when I actually finish the damn thing! Suffice it to say, that these little writing exercises I like to call Blog Posts, are in it. I am having fun learning two new formatting programs cuz the world likes to make it really difficult (did we really have to let the cassette win, when 8 track was so superior in sound quality?), again, apropos of nothing. AH Ha! maybe that will be the title. dont steal it Chuck Lorre.
Speaking of whom, I am going to reprint his recent Vanity Card, just because it sounds right. I do believe comedy writers are our new philosophers. We don't have time for thick tomes on life and death; much easier to write that into an episode of a sit com.
Yes, I am still open to that world's oldest PA job in the writers room, Mr. Lorre.
Read and ponder....




CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #416

I've been thinking about becoming a polytheist. No, this has nothing to do with missing Battlestar Galactica. And yes, I realize my blasphemous notion flies in the face of a few thousand years of "Ye shall have no other gods before me." (To be honest, even when I was a kid that commandment troubled me. It sounded like a jealous girlfriend saying, "If I catch you looking at other girls, you're in big trouble, Mister!" And don't get me started on how "no other gods before me" kinda implies that there might actually be some other gods loitering about.) But my main reason for considering becoming a Pagan (Pagish? Jewgan?), is that it neatly answers the age-old question, "Why does god allow so much suffering in the world?" When tragedy strikes, the monotheistic approach can only offer the tired old, "It is not for us to question god's will." Really? Why not us? Who else is in the questioning business? But look what happens when we ask the same question from a pantheistic perspective. Why do the gods allow so much suffering in the world? Because outside of their particular area of expertise: farming, war, fertility, what-have-you, they are not even remotely in control. The buck stops nowhere. (In this scenario both the Old Testament and New Testament deities are off the hook as far as your general suffering is concerned.) But here's the really good news: with a polytheistic approach to prayer we can micro-target our beseeching. Trouble with love? Take it to Aphrodite. Not catching enough fish? Poseidon. Are you regularly waking up from alcohol-induced blackouts in the sleeping compartment of long-haul trucks that carry circus equipment and little people? That sounds like a job for Dionysus. Need your sitcom pilot to get picked up for the Fall season? Les Moonves. In other words, whatever the crisis might be, there's a god ready to take your call. What are you waiting for? Call now and receive a free goat-sacrificing kit! (Goat sold separately.)

I Suck.

I was reading Chuck Lorre (Yes, I am clearly obsessed by this man-which in itself is weird for a past her if ever prime and a les-bo-heim to boot)and he wrote an article entitled:
HOW TO CREATE A HIT SITCOM
A simple, step-by-step guide to prime time success.
It is, as you might imagine if you watch his shows, is funny.
But mostly what it made me realize is that I am a spectacular failure. I have one person following my blog, and I am pretty sure it is someone I am paying. I do not make any money as a writer, mostly cuz I refuse to call myself such or even show anyone my writing. I think having a highly commented on rant on fb is writing. Clearly, I am a v-e-r-y slow learner. I like to write. I like to write about what I think about things. There is not a lot of money in that- no wait, I think there is; I just dont know how to, as we like to say now, monetize it. I am not very motivated to succeed. What's up with that?
As it says in my copy of The Underachiever's Manifesto (yes it does exist and I wish I had written it, but I was too underachieving to do so)
GOOD ENOUGH IS GOOD ENOUGH. Actually it doesn't say that but that is the essence of the 10 points.
I would reprint the ten, but I will leave it to the next post. See if anyone reads this, of if it is, as I suspect, a very cheap form of self-therapy.
Enjoy this day after the second Inauguration of the first Black President (see it was not a mistake!)

Assisted Living (Help me Chuck Lorre!)

I saw the note by blogger telling me to list people in my post, so I thought who better than the Jeffe of TV comedy, Chuck Lorre. I do not know him, or imagine that I ever will. We are in parallel worlds. He is famous, I am not. He makes people laugh: I make people cry. He lives in LA; I live in LA (and by that I mean, the LA he lives in is on 90210, the LA I live in is on COPS). But we do share a heritage, and a love of numbers (see his Vanity Card archives---see my unread blog posts 1-56). Plus if I tag him in my post then maybe someone will read them.
Of late I have not felt much humor in my situation. For those of you who can not be bothered reading "TDT/Assisted Living" from the beginning, I will surmise: Long time, past her prime,dyke inherits aging (82 at time, now 90)father (hereto referred to as: The Old Guy) and hilarity ensues.
Like I said, I have not been feeling the hilarity. Its a lot of work caring for others. And I don't mean in the "write a check to the charity" kind of care. Perhaps it is the reason I never had children or men have wives; it is HARD. Still, its best to find some humor in some corner or instead of hilarity, insanity will ensue. So now I laugh at myself. How crazy am I who thinks I can get him to remember something just seen 10 minutes ago? That is bend over chuckle worthy! I am just nuttier than those kids on Happy Endings or New Girl. And they are kooky, weird funny! Yup, 61, tattooed and still wearing high tops. Crazy!
Happy 2nd of 3 New Year's (not the one that you eat apples and honey and then fast, not the one that you eat whole fish and blow things up, but the one that you get falling down drunk and watch some 7000 pound "ball" fall off a building).